


accepting help is harder than offering it

by RexIsMyCopilot



Series: Anakin/Obi-Wan [14]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Building trust, Communication, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Secret Relationship, Trust, lots of soft fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29893653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RexIsMyCopilot/pseuds/RexIsMyCopilot
Summary: When Anakin returns from a dire mission, Obi-Wan must cope with his unexpected emotions.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Anakin/Obi-Wan [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145300
Comments: 14
Kudos: 95





	accepting help is harder than offering it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Psychoannalyse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychoannalyse/gifts).



> This one was suggested by Psychoannalyse who suggested I write something with Anakin taking care of Obi-Wan. Something I had been wanting to write, but never had a good idea... until now (or at least, I hope it's good...)

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmured, touching Anakin’s head where the bandage had been. “When we got the news from Admiral Yularen…” he let the words fade out, not able to bring himself to say it. 

“I’m okay,” Anakin said softly, trying not to draw attention to them in the medbay. “I’ve been given the all clear,” he smirked. 

Obi-Wan tried to smile despite the overhanging worry that was persevering. It was the least he could do, he thought. 

“Master,” Anakin soothed. “I’m okay. Ahsoka did everything right.”

“She did,” Obi-Wan offered, willing himself to relax, or at least to try and relax. 

“And so did I,” Anakin teased. 

Obi-Wan scoffed and rolled his eyes, allowing himself a small laugh. 

Anakin sat up on the bed and took Obi-Wan’s hand in his own. He could feel Obi-Wan tense at the touch in a public place, but Anakin didn’t much care at this point. “I did what I had to do,” he said softly. “You would have done the same thing.”

_ Would I have? _ Obi-Wan doubted.

“Perhaps,” Obi-Wan said, casting his eyes down to where Anakin was holding his hand. He sighed heavily, reluctantly taking his hand away. “I should leave you to rest.”

Anakin looked somewhat taken aback, but quickly recovered with a small shake of his head. “Vokara Che should be letting me leave soon,” he said tenderly, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. 

“Come by when you can?” Obi-Wan asked.

If Anakin didn’t know any better, he almost sounded nervous to ask the question. “Already planning on it,” he promised. 

When Obi-Wan stood to leave, Anakin said quickly, “Master.” 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied curiously, crossing his arms. 

**_I love you._ **

Obi-Wan smiled warmly.  **_I love you too._ ** At least he didn’t have to doubt that.

* * *

“What are you reading?” Anakin asked. 

Obi-Wan looked up from the datapad he had been staring at and watched as Anakin took a seat next to him. He scoffed as he realized he had been staring at the same screen without actually taking it in. “Nothing really,” he answered honestly with a small smile. 

“Are you okay, Master?” Anakin prompted. “You’ve been acting differently since I got back.”

“I’m... fine,” Obi-Wan tried to assure him with a hand on Anakin’s cheek. 

Anakin shook his head. “No, that’s not good enough,” he insisted. “If I had said that to you, you wouldn’t accept it.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan tried to brush it off and glanced away

“No,” Anakin was growing more and more annoyed. Obi-Wan  _ always _ made him talk, but when the roles were reversed, apparently he couldn’t take it. “You’ve been, I don’t know… distant since I got back. Tell me why.” 

“It’s nothing, Anakin,” Obi-Wan picked up his datapad and pretended to read as if the conversation were over. 

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin didn’t mean to say his name so harshly, but his agitation was growing by the second. “Did I do something? What is it?” He cringed as soon as he said it, the words sounding far more aggravated than he meant. 

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows in surprise at the sudden turn of events. “It was nothing you did,” he promised lightly. 

“But it is something then,” Anakin said quickly, trying to keep his composure. Obi-Wan was always so patient when trying to coax something out of him, the least he could do was try and return the favor by remaining calm now. 

“You’re making this a far bigger deal than it needs to be,” Obi-Wan said, his tone was clearly trying to suppress his own growing annoyance at Anakin’s persistent line of questioning. He set the datapad down, sliding down in his seat on the couch and resting his head on the back of the cushion. 

Anakin frowned and tried to channel his inner Obi-Wan. “Look at me,” Anakin said firmly, his patience diminishing quickly. 

To Anakin’s surprise, Obi-Wan did as he was told. He turned his head, but kept it resting on the back of the cushion. Anakin decided that was good enough for now. “Tell me, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan shut his eyes, as if he couldn’t face Anakin with his thoughts. “You were willing to sacrifice yourself,” he said eventually, opening his eyes. “For Ahsoka. For Aayla. For your men.”

“Are you mad at me for-?”

“No!” Obi-Wan lifted his head, looking away. “It’s not that.”

Anakin put his hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek and forced Obi-Wan to face him. “Then what is it?”

“Please look at me,” Anakin requested as nicely as he could when Obi-Wan closed his eyes yet again.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know if I would have done the same,” he confessed, almost timidly. 

“What?” Anakin asked, adjusting himself on the couch so he was facing Obi-Wan. 

“You told me that I would have done the same as you if I were in that position,” Obi-Wan clarified. “And I don’t know that I would have.” 

Anakin stayed silent, searching Obi-Wan’s expression and trying to think of what to say next. Obi-Wan was the one who was good at this. Not him. 

“Are you- What-?”

“I told you it wasn’t anything to worry about,” Obi-Wan interrupted. “It’s a hypothetical that I will hopefully never have to face.”

“Stop,” Anakin said firmly. “Stop saying it’s nothing or that it’s no big deal.”

Obi-Wan pulled his head back ever so slightly at Anakin’s tone. “Anakin, I don’t-”

“No,” Anakin interrupted. This was not going at all how he had thought it would. “You’re saying you wouldn’t sacrifice yourself for Ahsoka or Aayla or your men?”

“I don’t know,” Obi-Wan said honestly. 

“Of course you would have,” Anakin said, baffled. Obi-Wan was the best person he knew - selfless almost to a fault. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have done the same. He even credited Obi-Wan’s influence in the moment for making the decision. 

“Good, I’m glad that’s settled then,” Obi-Wan looked away, clearly agitated. 

“Force, help me, Obi-Wan,” Anakin grunted out, letting his annoyance get the better of him. He stood from the couch and crossed his arms. “What is this? Why won’t you just talk to me?”

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw. “I  _ am _ talking to you.”

Anakin flung his hands out to the side. “Hardly!” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “You would never let me get away with this.” His annoyance was quickly ramping up to full-blown anger. He took a deep breath, trying his best to calm down.

“I’m going to go shower,” Anakin grumbled furiously. “Decide if you actually want to talk to me or not, I guess.” He sounded angrier than he meant to, but he  _ was _ annoyed, after all. 

He left Obi-Wan sitting on the couch with a baffled expression on his face - alone. He stripped off his robes, mumbling to himself as he debriefed their argument in his head. He cringed at the tone he had chosen in the moment when he ran over his lines over and over. 

_ Apologize and stay calm, _ Anakin said to himself as he turned the water on.  _ I just have to apologize and get him to talk to me. _ Seemed far easier said than done. Obi-Wan apparently possessed a special skill to get Anakin to open up, but Anakin did not seemingly have that same talent. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, letting the soap run down his body. He turned the knob on the faucet to make it hotter, wanting to once again test his limits, feeling how hot he could take it. 

_ Think, think, think, _ Anakin scolded in his head.  _ Why did he shut down like that? What was it about their conversation? _

He played back the conversation in his head.  _ Think, _ he willed himself. Obi-Wan didn’t think he would sacrifice himself.  _ Why? _ Anakin knew Obi-Wan was brave; that had been proven again and again. He already knew Obi-Wan was selfless; every day with Obi-Wan proved that to Anakin over and over. Everything Obi-Wan did was selfless. Especially when it came to Anakin. 

_ Me. _ Anakin furrowed his brow, piecing together a thought.  _ He wouldn’t sacrifice himself because of me. _ The final cog clicked into place and it all made sense. Obi-Wan didn’t want to talk about it because it directly involved him.

He reached his hand to turn the knob off, but heard instead a tenuous, “Anakin?”

The tone was so pitiful to Anakin’s ear, he instantly regretted their entire earlier conversation. “Obi-Wan,” he answered tenderly, peeking out of the shower. 

Obi-Wan stepped close to him, clearly trying to think of what to say, his eyes cast to the floor. 

“I’m sorr-”

“No, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said quickly. “I am. I’m sorry. I-” 

“It was my fau-”

“No, it was mine,” Anakin interrupted again. He shut the water off and let the sound of the final drips from the shower head echo in the otherwise silent room. “Towel?” he asked, reaching his hand out. 

Obi-Wan handed Anakin the towel he had left on the ground and watched him dry off. He squared his shoulders and looked Anakin in the eye. “I’m ready to talk,” he said clearly. “Please.”

Anakin nodded and finished drying as fast as he could. “Um, okay,” he searched on the floor for his clothes, settling for just his pants. That seemed good enough. “Yes, okay, let’s talk,” he said gently, his hand around Obi-Wan’s shoulder to lead him out of the fresher. 

“Bedroom or kitchen?” Anakin asked softly. 

Obi-Wan sighed as if the burden to make the decision was too much. “I don’t- Wherever,” he said eventually. 

“Bedroom,” Anakin decided for him and led him to the bed. He sat next to Obi-Wan, letting them sit in silence for a short time. 

“I admire you,” Obi-Wan said eventually in the silence of the room. 

Anakin furrowed his brow. “Me?”

“You made the right decision,” Obi-Wan said. “I cannot say I would have done the same.” 

This part he already knew. Anakin let Obi-Wan compose whatever thoughts he was trying to string together, a reassuring hand still around Obi-Wan’s shoulder. 

“Would I have been too scared to leave you? Too selfish to consider it?” Obi-Wan wasn’t asking for an answer, just speaking to the only person who would listen. “Would I have risked Ahsoka’s life from my-? My… attachment,” he finished feebly. 

Anakin had to stop himself from making an absurd face. Obi-Wan was the perfect Jedi, as far as Anakin was concerned. Well, except for, perhaps, one area. 

_ Oh, _ Anakin thought. That was why. He  _ had been _ perfect (or close to it), but that had changed. 

“Is this different from Satine or Siri or Quinlan?” Anakin asked, sifting through what Obi-Wan had told him about his past. “Did you feel this before when you were with them?”

“This is different,” Obi-Wan put his hand to his forehead and shut his eyes tightly. 

Anakin pulled him close and kissed him on the temple. “What makes it different?” 

Obi-Wan barked out a short laugh. “This is not the time to stroke your ego, Anakin,” he teased and leaned against Anakin. 

“I’m serious,” Anakin promised with a smile. 

“I love you,” Obi-Wan shrugged. “More than I thought possible. More than I perhaps ought to. But I do.”

Anakin took a deep breath and rubbed small circles into Obi-Wan’s shoulder with his thumb. A gesture Obi-Wan often did to comfort him. He knew what Obi-Wan was referring to. He had loved Padme, he didn’t doubt it, but he often wondered if he loved her for her or if he loved the way she made him feel. 

With Obi-Wan, it was different. He loved him. Not just the way Obi-Wan made him feel, but because he would give anything for him. It wasn’t just about himself. It was about  _ them. _ That’s what love was. It was an easy decision to save Ahsoka and his men in the moment because love finally made sense. 

When Anakin finally looked down at where Obi-Wan’s head was resting on his shoulder, he was surprised to see Obi-Wan staring up at him. “What?” he asked curiously. 

“Is that really what you think?” Obi-Wan asked hopefully. 

“You heard that, huh?” Anakin chuckled. 

“Hard not to sometimes,” Obi-Wan shrugged. 

Anakin exhaled heavily. “Yeah, that’s how I feel,” he replied. He paused long enough to think about what he should do next. 

“I need to apologize,” Obi-Wan sat up. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did earlier.”

“It’s alright,” Anakin promised. “I know.” When Obi-Wan settled into their comfortable silence, Anakin teased, “Easier said than done when it comes to talking, isn’t it?” 

Obi-Wan snorted. “Perhaps,” was all he was willing to give on the subject. 

“Thank you,” Anakin said. “For talking to me even when you didn’t want to.” It felt awkward to say, but he felt he needed to... wanted to. 

“Hm,” Obi-Wan acknowledged.

“What else can I do?” Anakin asked. “To help. To make you feel better.” 

Obi-Wan shook his head. “You’ve done more than enough.”

“Tea,” Anakin said suddenly. “I know how to make it now, I think. You used to say, ‘There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be diminished by a nice cup of tea’.”

“Dear one-”

“Tea it is,” Anakin nodded, standing abruptly and forgetting that Obi-Wan had been leaning on him for support. Obi-Wan caught himself on his elbow, laughing softly. 

“Never thought I’d see you so excited about tea,” Obi-Wan said playfully, pushing himself back upright.

“Maybe love has made me a better person,” Anakin smiled warmly and pulled Obi-Wan into a reassuring embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> Do I have other things to do? Yes. Did I do this instead? Also yes. Do I regret it? Absolutely not.
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting! It means so much to me! :)


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